Man Tapes 51 Turtles to Himself, Smuggles in Pants

File this under headlines you’ll only see once in your lifetime. Federal prosecutors say a Canadian man was caught trying to smuggle 51 turtles across the border in his sweatpants. Seriously. Kai Xu was busted after hiding behind two semis and reappearing with “irregularly shaped bulges” under his sweatpants, The Guardian reports. Xu was captured as part of a surveillance operation …

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